The Art of Being Alone

I'm single.

There, I said it.

I'm without boyfriend, partner, spouse. I'm not even dating anyone.

And you know what? I'm fine with that. I'm quite happy being alone. Am I allowed to say that? Considering that I write about people falling in love and finding their happily ever after? I'd expect that I am allowed, after all, it's not as if I'm saying love doesn't exist. I just haven't found 'the one' for myself yet.

Being alone actually has both ups and downs. Since I'm a bit of a loner to begin with it really doesn't bother me much. I have no problem about spending my evenings alone when I get home, or even my weekends. In fact, I love it. I don't have to make excuses to anyone if I spend several hours in front of the computer writing. I can watch whatever I want on the TV, I can choose my own movies.

But sometimes I guess you miss having someone to talk to, or snuggle up with.

I guess I'm thinking about it mainly because I was invited to a colleague's house for brunch today, and I was the only one who came alone. Everyone else was a couple. I guess in my age most people are already in relationships, so I often end up being the odd one out. But that's fine, just feels a bit odd now and then. But fortunately we sometimes have a girls' night or so, and that can be really nice.

There no real point to this post I guess. Just some idle thoughts on a Sunday...

There's nothing...

I'm sitting here, and I can't think of a single thing to write about. It's Sunday evening, and I know that tomorrow it's back to work again. Why is it that the weekends are always so short? Sometimes I wish I worked part-time, then I'd have more time to do all the things I'd like to do. But then of course, I probably couldn't afford doing all the things I want to do... Writing of course, I could do that... After all, it costs nothing more than some imagination and plenty of time.

I love writing. I love talking about writing, tossing ideas around. Discussing what you're planning and brainstorming. Yesterday I had a great chat about this with one of my fellow RI ladies, and as we were doing so I remembered why I love writing so very much. The opportunity to create the kind of story that you want yourself. You make up characters and they take on their own life, and eventually you're not writing the story as much as you're just writing down what the characters are doing. While you have some control, the characters are now in charge, and the story (at least when I write) usually ends up all the better for it.

So yes, I love writing. There is nothing I'd rather do as a profession, and I can only hope that one day I will be able to do it full-time.

Do you have any passions? Something you love to do? Some hidden aspirations? Maybe you want to be a singer, or a professional juggler.. or a rocket scientist!

That thing about age...

Once a year comes the day when you suddenly add a number to the numbers of years that you have spent on this earth. For some it's a day of joy, for others it's the day that you'd rather forget.

Personally I quite enjoy birthdays. I think it's the whole cake + presents combination that really does it for me... No, that's not entirely true (even if those two certainly are nice parts of the day), but I enjoy the family getting together. Since I live abroad I don't always get to see my family on my birthday (or theirs for that matter). Last year was one of those years, so this year I made sure that I could get a couple of days off work and travel home.

So, today I had a birthday BBQ with my closest family which was really nice. Sure, the weather could have been better.. But! I'm happy just to have been home to properly celebrate. And that's all that really matters.

(Having had an absolutely gorgeous green marsipan cake didn't make matters worse though!)

Then of course there's that issue... You know the one... Getting old. It's never bothered me much, but I'm now on the far side of twenty.. just shy of thirty. I just passed that stepping stone this year. Am I where I had expected to be in my life at this point? Probably not. Am I dissatisfied? Not really.

I still have plenty of goals to reach. I want to be a published author. I might eventually want a family (though right now I quite enjoy being single... - am I allowed to say that as an aspiring romance writer? ;) ). I'm considering going back to school to get a degree. (Either in Psychology or Social or Cultural Science.)

Well, there's obviously plenty of things yet to do. I guess sometimes I feel like time is running out though. Shouldn't I have gotten further in my writing by now? Shouldn't I have quit working sooner to get that degree? Shouldn't I already be in a serious relationship? (Ok, I was... but it ended and I've been single since.)

I guess I just need to start working on these things a bit more. I mean, the writing and the studying (if I decide to study rather than work for a bit.. to then hopefully go back and find a more senior position). The family thing.. well, that's something I will leave to fate :)

Do you ever feel like you're running out of time? Do you ever have a niggling fear that you should have accomplished more by now?

Not even...

So I managed to miss my first Sunday. I said I would post every Sunday, and the first one that comes along, I forget! At one point yesterday I was actually thinking about the fact that I needed to get online to post, but then it simply slipped my mind since I was doing a lot of other things.

I'm reading a book at the moment, and I don't actually like it, but one I start a book I generally want to finish it. Maybe I want to give it the opportunity to better itself. But in this case it doesn't look too good. In its defense it was written in the era of the bodice-rippers, but that doesn't help much if you were never much into those stories. The motivations of the main characters are simply not believable, and the way the act and react.. it's just horrible. I swear I actually cringe at some points.

Then there is this one tiny little detail that always bothers me. Why.. Why do people have their characters ride a stallion? I'm not a horse fanatic, but even I know that you don't ride stallions. They're too spirited. And when the heroine actually had her own stallion.. well, that wasn't believable at all. I'm sorry. Sure, maybe there's the odd time when someone rides a stallion, but it's not very common because of the less than pleasurable traits stallions usually display.

Does anyone else have any pet peeves? Or books that simply aren't your cup of tea?

You've Been Hijacked

Emily, welcome to your new blog design. I hope you like it. Email if there is anything that needs to be added or changed.

All the best,
Haven