I just realised...

That today it's 6 months since my boyfriend and I broke up. It's already evening, and I didn't realise until now. Surely that must mean that I'm finally starting to get over him? Or one could argue that the fact that I remembered at all is a clear sign that I'm not over him at all. I have to admit that I prefer the first possibility.

I'm having another quiet weekend at home, but I quite like them that way. Been thinking about starting that next novel, but since I'm still slightly working on my first one (synopsis still not written and not a single query letter sent out yet) it might be too soon. I have to make some kind of action plan I guess.

Lately I've been listening a lot to the soundtrack to Moulin Rouge. I really love the El Tango de Roxanne and Your Song. Very good... Keep listening to them over and over. (Poor neighbours...)

I got hold of Phantom of the Opera (on DVD) last week and watched it again, and I'm sorry, but it has to be said (again) the Phantom is SEXY.
Ok there... It's done.

Now I only need to find out how to write a synopsis... (Yes... It's been an entire week and I still don't have a clue...)

Synopsis? WHY??

Ok, so I managed to read through the entire thing again (my manuscript if anyone is wondering) and although I still fear that it's all lard I think it's time that it went out the door to actually glimpse the light of day. (Ie. someone else is going to have to read it and comment.)

A few people have read it of course, but since they're either related to me or want to stay on my good side since they're my friends (and supposedly want to remain that) I don't necessarily trust their objectiveness. Hence my need for someone to read it and let me know what they really think.

Actually, I just got my very first critique partner and I just sent her the first chapter (and will be getting one from her soon). I'm quite excited about it, albeit nervous. I've never had a critique partner before.

Now... I have a few problems... Hence the antagonistic title of today's blog entry.

1. No matter how I format my manuscript it WILL NOT fit into 400 pages! If I keep it at Times New Roman font is 385, which is fair. But when I make it any kind of Courier font (which is what you're supposed to submit it with) all of a sudden my page count is up at 490!!! HELP!

2. How strict is the 100,000 word rule? I currently have 102,000 words. Time to start cutting? How can I cut my baby? *starts fretting*

3. I happened to see a contest for completed manuscripts and thought I'd enter. They need a synopsis. Que? I don't have a clue how to write a synopsis, and the deadline is quite soon so I don't have a whole lot of time to do it either. Why do we have to use synopsises? *cries* Can't I just send the first chapter? *sniffles* It's not fair... Is there a Synopsis Crash Course out there somewhere?

Ok, so I'm panicking slightly here. Here I thought I was almost done, and then these things happen... *grumbles*

Will crawl back into my hole now and try to figure out how to write a synopsis...

Guilt

Yes, I'm feeling rather guilt ridden right now. No, I haven't murdered someone... It's just that I've done absolutely nothing for my book for over a week and it makes me feel really guilty. I think I'm getting nervous since it's getting close to finished, and it feels like it's not good enough and I have no idea what to do about it.

A critique partner would probably be a very good idea, but I'm not entirely sure how to go about finding one. It's got to be someone who knows what they're talking about of course, and someone you trust.

I have a friend who reads it and comments, but she comments more on if I make a typo or grammar mistake than anything else. She's going to read it again now though that it's almost finished to see how it flows. I'm reading it myself as well but I keep feeling that it's lacking and it terrifies me. I'll ask her to be really cruel and brutal after she reads it this gime... since I really want this book to be good.

Then I also want to just get it done and over with as well... It's a bit of a split feeling. Because I really want to start writing the next manuscript... I've got two characters in my head and their story is just nagging to be written. When I will find the time though I don't know. With a new job and everything I find myself rather short of time. I admire all these authors who manage a family, job and writing all at once. I can barely manage a job and a life.

I guess I should get back to proofreading... But I keep procrastinating since when I'm reading it I keep thinking 'It's crap. It's crap. It's crap.' And I don't know how to stop...